You're right, Nick. Any fanfic story of a family of closely knit Natalie Portman lookalikes in the Star Wars universe certainly needs at least one scene where there's just not enough time to take seperate baths!
But plenty of time to soap the breasts...
>> "The following year, poetry and poetry contests became the company's sole focus, as new imprints Cherry Grove, CustomWords, David Robert Books, Textos Books, Turning Point, and WordTech Editions were added. They company also switched from Windows to Macintosh computers."
To quote a certain English celebrity: "Do I look bovvered!"
I swear: I really have to write up that Absolutely Fabulous/Farscape slash novel after all. Considering the rest of the fanfic market, especially with the number of conventions that offer fanfic workshops for those who want to do it for a living, I'd make a killing.
Sweetie frelling darlings, now that I'd buy.
So what's the slash? Eddy/Aeryn? Patsy/Zhaan? Saffy/Chiana?
* hyperventilates *
Edie/Pilot. This way, I can just transcribe the last four years of my first marriage: after all, whenever I'd tell my ex that I was tired of her ever-burgeoning reputation as "the Nancy Spungen of fandom" at conventions, she'd just look at me and tell me "Sweetie, if I can't come, I'll adopt a Hynerian baby."
Frankly, any version of Star Wars which involves Luke Skywalker and Ben Kenobi getting blasted into teensy-tiny fragments 1/3 of the way into the story is absolutely worth the 10 minutes it took me to flip through the .pdf file.
It's a bit ambiguous... Han Solo drops them off on Alderaan and they're chatting away with Bail Organa from pp. 112-114, when the Death Star pops onto the deep space monitors and they all realize what's about to happen. Then the scene with Leia plays out as usual on the Death Star.
So it's left to Leia, Biggs, and one of Leia's cousins from wheresit-with-the-Gungans to blow up the Death Star. Interestingly, I think Luke's old pal Biggs makes it through this time, but the unkillable Wedge Antilles bites the dust. But I wasn't reading terribly closely.
Oh, and then it winds up with a touching, tragic little paragraph at the end... which would be so much more enjoyable if I weren't deadly terrified that it's a coded warning about an upcoming sequel.
Dammit. It appears I have missed my window to read such awesomeness.
Unless someone wants to email it to me ...
It's really only worth about ten minutes of time -- "let's kill off Luke and give Leia a chance to be REAL HERO!" is fun and all, but it's been done before. And without calling in the icky-slimy Naboo calvary. Ugh.
... and I don't mean icky-slimy in the bubbly-sudsy sense, for the breast-soaping fans. That's one thing I really do hate about fanfic: the "let's explore the deeper relations" element. C'mon people. It's STAR WARS. I don't want to explore the deeper relations; I want to BLOW SHIT UP.
Really, there's just never enough shit being blown up in fanfic...
Could I get you to send it to me, too? There's an entire legion of Buffy fans who need something to rip to shreds.
chanceofrainne AT charter DOT net if you get the chance. ^_^
There's an entire legion of Buffy fans who need something to rip to shreds.
Really, the mind scarcely has the courage to boggle.
Oh believe me, after seasons six and seven of Buffy, most of us are desperate for something to tear apart with our bare hands and/or eat raw whilst still alive and screaming.
I wouldn't mind seeing a copy as well...
(My science fiction group will go nuts)
fenconinfo AT gmail.com
Y'know, there's bucket and buckets of this shit at theforce.net
. I'm just sayin'...
If you're still emailing it out I don't suppose you can send me a copy as well? I'm at firstname.lastname@example.org
I need something to give me a laugh.
Dude, if you get it, would you pass it on to me please? There is a legion of rabid SW fans who wanna tear into this as well...
lol, I've been following this terrifying ignorance of copyrights and basic human intelligence... and sheer perversity makes me want to scan this book. The pdf online is gone now, of course... so... *big hopeful smile* would you send it to me pleeease????
If you still have it and haven't dleeted the monstrosity from your harddrive, that is.
2006-04-23 10:20 pm (UTC)
For the latecomers: I deleted my copy of the .pdf file yesterday. Sorry, but I really don't need the Lucas et al. lawyers coming after me, too.
I don't have it anymore, so don't bother asking.
2006-04-24 12:03 am (UTC)
Re: Seriously, people.
Whoops, just saw this. Never mind then.
I did notice some commonalities among the people asking me for a copy, starting with: a.) most everyone couched their request in terms of "I, uh, that is my friends and I, could use a laugh," and b.) a striking fraction of the requests were from women.
Like I said, "let's kill off Luke and let Leia save the day, for once" is old hat: Dark Horse
did it a few years ago. I haven't read it, so I can't vouch for its quality, but if you want to see Leia getting down and dirty on Dagobah with a lightsaber, there it is. And please don't let the fact that it's a Lucas-sanctioned product stop you from making fun of it -- as far as I'm concerned, everything manufactured under the Star Wars label after, oh, 1985 is essentially corporate-level fanfic.though at least you can usually trust Lucas et al. to blow a few things up along the way...
As I've commented here before, fanfic is some really, really strange shit.
I've written some Star Trek and other fanfic, including Star Wars, but this slash shit... is well out-of-hand.
I don't care about orientations, but people look at something and immediately believe it needs to be... twisted.
Well, find something more productive and creative to do, dammit!
Fanfiction itself is twisted. I don't know why slash is any more twisted than the het romance stuff. And people enjoy writing fanfiction, leave them alone. Unless they try and sell it. Then you can throw things at them.
People enjoy doing all sorts of things worth making fun of. But why bother throwing things at them — are corporate lawyers hiring mercenaries with rocks now?
I bet this jareo wench gets something a lot heavier than a rock thrown at her. Like say, the combined might of all George Lucas's legal team.
She allegedly does this for a living ... how could she possibly be stupid enough to think it would be legal to sell her book at all, let alone on Amazon?
For some reason, thinking about self-delusion sent me over to that idiot Jason Pettus' site for a few laughs/winces, and I bleieve I may have found one of the most vapid sentences in the entire history of blogging. In an entry titled, "I've been thinking about Jesus lately" he writes:
"See, for those who don't know, Jesus is the fundamental difference between Christians and Jews"
And the religious insights only get deeper from there . . .
Hmmm...I was wondering what to respond when I was asked about my conversion to Judaism. Yeah. I never noticed that before.
This is almost as funny as the time Jean Lorrah was the guest at a LexFA meeting. She'd just published her first book (a Star Trek novel called, I think, The IDIC Epidemic - I tried reading a borrowed copy, omg the horror - and she proceeded to shill not only her new, legitimate novel (look ma, no scare quotes!) but also printed copies of the fanfic she hadn't been able to sell to Paramount.
Hmm, I think this book is actually a science-fiction sequel to My Search for "The Son of Sam" which Ms. Jareo edited.
Now really. Can it be any worse than The Phantom Menace?
2006-04-21 07:25 pm (UTC)
I like how she got legal permission . . .
. . . from the copyright-holder of the picture of Andromeda that graces it's fugly cover.
Glad to see she covered her ass.
2006-04-22 06:48 pm (UTC)
Re: I like how she got legal permission . . .
Yah, that cracked me up too. And she made a big deal of it on like page 2. D'oh!
2006-04-22 05:35 pm (UTC)
found an excerpt from google cache
The link to her site and the free pdf don't work for me.... anyone able to hook me up with the pdf file? j_van_eike @ hotmail.com