nihilistic_kid: The password is "The fish is over the brakelight."

Nick Mamatas (

nihilistic_kid) wrote,
@ 2005-12-16 15:47:00

The password is "The fish is over the brakelight."
This has been goin' round the ol' friendslist today.

I especially like the flash of ab from the model. Makes me wanna have a Platonic relationship with him. You know, anal sex only. No talking. Well, unless he wants to explain how the Christian Underground moral code supports free enterprise, a concept that didn't even exist in 38 AD.

Livejournal's greatest theologian,

spimby, offers this picture up for our oppressed Christian friends.

(Post a new comment)

	spimby 2005-12-16 08:55 pm UTC (link)
	Did you see this version of Sir Sexy? All it needs is the N and T added... (Reply to this) (Thread)

	rollick 2005-12-16 08:58 pm UTC (link)
	He's even hotter close-up, where his constipated, squinty grimace is clearer. (Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

	spimby 2005-12-16 09:08 pm UTC (link)
	(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

	blucrowlaughing 2005-12-16 09:10 pm UTC (link)
	snorrch (Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

	osito71 2005-12-17 12:27 am UTC (link)
	I. C. U. P? What are they in 4th grade? Haw! Haw! (Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

	mothwentbad 2005-12-17 01:02 am UTC (link)
	Hey, wanna join a writing club? (Reply to this) (Parent)

	st_rev 2005-12-16 09:32 pm UTC (link)
	I want to see this combined with the "I'm gonna go listen to LINKIN PARK" picture. (Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

	spimby 2005-12-16 09:33 pm UTC (link)
	Dont you mean JARS OF CLAY? (Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

	st_rev 2005-12-16 10:07 pm UTC (link)
	I thought that was the same band. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	rollick 2005-12-16 08:59 pm UTC (link)
	Is that a flash of ab? It looks to me like a severely malformed erection poking out of the top of his pants. I guess now we know what he's so desperate about that he needs to spend all his time praying. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	nihilistic_kid 2005-12-16 09:03 pm UTC (link)
	Well, you are the malformed erection poke expert, so if you say so, I'm down with it! (Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

	marlowe1 2005-12-18 05:56 am UTC (link)
	I saw that thing too. I'm happy that I'm straight and male and don't really have to deal with the trauma of praying erection boy too seriously. (Reply to this) (Parent)

jaylake
2005-12-16 09:10 pm UTC (link)

I checked out their moral code.

"The Bible clearly condemns all sexual behaviors outside of marriage between one man and one woman."

Genesis 19:36 says "Thus were both the daughters of Lot with child by their father." This doesn't seem to be represented as a problem anywhere within the text. So apparently condemning "all sexual behaviors outside of marriage" doesn't include hot three-way incest action?

(Reply to this) (Thread)

	spimby 2005-12-16 09:16 pm UTC (link)
	Oh, you don't have to dig that deep--all the Hebrew patriarchs were allowed as many wives as they wanted, and that standard is never changed throughout scripture, so...where they get this "one woman" business, I dunno. Fundie Mormons are the only true Christians. (Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

rfrancis
2005-12-16 10:28 pm UTC (link)

Since you ask...

Elders and deacons are commanded to be the husbands of one wife (Titus 1, 1 Timothy 3), Paul uses language that's hard to interpret as supporting polygamy (Ephesians 5, et al), and Jesus also uses language that seems specific about one man, one wife (Matthew 19, et al.) For that matter, the entire discussion in Matthew 19 seems to suggest that polygamy was not considered the norm amongst the Hebrews at the time. Note that it's also pretty easy to make an argument (from Deuteronomy 17) that the Hebrews were in fact enjoined against polygamy but, well, did it anyway (thus Matthew 19 talking about being stricted about marriage ordinances.)

But actually, I was just going to post and laugh at the altered image. It's hilarious.

-R

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

spimby
2005-12-16 10:36 pm UTC (link)

"Hebrews were in fact enjoined against polygamy but, well, did it anyway"

Ah, so it's just one of those idiotic inconsistencies on the part of YHWH like "David murdered every man who got in his way and fucked every woman who flashed herself at him but he was still the Godliest King Ever?"

I know the standards for elders and deacons say one wife and tone in the NT generally assumes that one wife is the standard--the problem is that this is never really made explicit, anywhere. The Deuteronomy passage refers strictly to kings, and again, nobody ever followed it, anyway. (Poor Saul--one wife, good kids, apparently a decent dad, humble as hell--he tried to run away when he was made king, and he's the evilest king this side of Ahab. David and Solomon, though, the fornicating, murderous idolators with more wives than most of us have hairs on our heads and no parenting or real leadership skills whatsover, they're God's Chosen.)

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

marlowe1
2005-12-18 06:00 am UTC (link)

The Bible doesn't like Kings. David was the best of the bunch.

And actually Saul does get many accolades as being a good man - but that makes you a shitty king because he didn't have the balls to be king. So he went batshit crazy.

Although Ashkenazic Judaism has not condoned multiple wives since a rabbi put a 1000 year ban on the practice somewhere around 989 - which means that the reversal should happen at any moment.

However Yemenites get to have as many wives as possible.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

	marlowe1 2005-12-18 05:57 am UTC (link)
	Well they produced the Moabites and the Ammonites who were pains in the ass to Israel for centuries so no, it doesn't condone it. Only reporting it (although I think the Moabites and the Ammonites might not like it that their people are being portrayed in such a way) (Reply to this) (Parent)

	jonquil 2005-12-16 09:24 pm UTC (link)
	I am... too sexy for my God, too sexy for my God, so sexy it hurts! (Reply to this)

And Now For A Word (From The Bible)

valen
2005-12-16 09:26 pm UTC (link)

It seems that most evangelist Christians have forgotten this little section of Matthew (Chapter 6) from their very own sacred book, The Bible. From the Skeptic's Annotated Bible:

"6:5 And when thou prayest, thou shalt not be as the hypocrites are: for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward.

6:6 But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly.

6:7 But when ye pray, use not vain repetitions, as the heathen do: for they think that they shall be heard for their much speaking.

6:8 Be not ye therefore like unto them: for your Father knoweth what things ye have need of, before ye ask him."

Also of note, the Skeptic's Annotated Bible also has a page on the "Should Christians Pray In Public?" question.

I also love the parody that

spimby cooked up. Great reference.

(Reply to this)

	m_fallenangel 2005-12-16 09:33 pm UTC (link)
	"Persecute me at your own peril". Peril? Like what, a boy-band reject is going to kick my heathen ass? Oh. Step Up and Bring It. Pretty please with communion wafer sprinkles on top. (Reply to this)

	whumpdotcom 2005-12-16 09:35 pm UTC (link)
	"Persecute me at your own peril" oooh... someone has a wank fantasy about interment camps... (Reply to this)

	pgtremblay 2005-12-16 10:59 pm UTC (link)
	that's so hot. (Reply to this)

	cataptromancer 2005-12-16 11:08 pm UTC (link)
	How can we best persecute him? I've been trying to persecute godfearing xians for years, and getting nowhere. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	st_rev 2005-12-16 11:10 pm UTC (link)
	I hear they're afraid of God. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	redplum 2005-12-16 11:39 pm UTC (link)
	Does no one else now have a new version Addams Family rap bleating along in their heads? (Reply to this) (Thread)

	negative_slant 2005-12-17 01:07 am UTC (link)
	I do now. thanks. (Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

	redplum 2005-12-17 01:10 am UTC (link)
	Here to serve. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	wilhemina 2005-12-17 02:10 am UTC (link)
	sex sells. (Reply to this)

	burgundy 2005-12-17 04:21 am UTC (link)
	So explain to me again how a movement that seems to be predicated on in-your-face visibility can be considered "underground"? (Reply to this) (Thread)

	nihilistic_kid 2005-12-17 04:24 am UTC (link)
	DIRTY JEW! (Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

	burgundy 2005-12-17 04:34 am UTC (link)
	Bring me the babies of the chiseled, underwear-model-looking Christians! I want to use their blood for matzoh! (Reply to this) (Parent)

	grimjiminember 2005-12-17 05:03 am UTC (link)
	The internal contradiction in the whole setup is if one worships publicly, how exactly is that underground anymore? (Reply to this)

	xydexx 2005-12-17 08:15 am UTC (link)
	(Reply to this) (Thread)

	st_rev 2005-12-18 06:26 am UTC (link)
	SHRIEK (Reply to this) (Parent)

	ammitbeast 2005-12-17 10:17 am UTC (link)
	Someone else must have thought of this creative bit of Photoshopery, too. It would begin: "I will gay when I want, where I want..." Just use the same artwork, same scowling, crossed arms (that poster looks pretty gay already). (Reply to this) (Thread)

	ktempest 2005-12-17 04:53 pm UTC (link)
	what font is that, then? (Reply to this) (Parent)

	ktempest 2005-12-17 05:28 pm UTC (link)
	I have too much time on my hands.... (Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

	nihilistic_kid 2005-12-17 06:42 pm UTC (link)
	You could make "the mall" into "the men's room" or something. (Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

	ktempest 2005-12-17 06:54 pm UTC (link)
	i would if I knew what font that was. as it is, I had to copy/paste the letters in there like that. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	ammitbeast 2005-12-17 08:05 pm UTC (link)
	K, you rock! (I was too tired to get it right myself last night... besides, I had only The Gimp on my system.) (Reply to this) (Parent)

	While we're defending constitutional rights... fluidmosaic 2005-12-17 02:28 pm UTC (link)
	That third amendment hardly gets any play anymore: (Reply to this) (Thread)

	Re: While we're defending constitutional rights... marlowe1 2005-12-18 06:02 am UTC (link)
	And not even if they happen to be related to me. Because those relatives drink all my beer. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	... kneel before Zod. hal_duncan 2005-12-17 08:25 pm UTC (link)
	He can get down on his knees in front of me any time he wants. "Yeah, that's right. Pray, baby, pray." zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzip (Reply to this)

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