Nick Mamatas ([info]nihilistic_kid) wrote,
@ 2005-08-22 01:50:00
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Amazon shorts prediction
Amazon.com is now a short story market. Readers can download a story for 49¢ and read it on their very own genuine computers. Here are the submission guidelines.

And now the prediction: if you were one of those whom amazon approached a few months ago, enjoy the first check when it's issued, cuz that's all you're gonna see. The rest of youse guys, save your crap for your own webpages.

Remember back when amazon.com had generic author interviews? Remember when an author could actually leave a non-review comment on a book's page? Yep, good times, good times. Those features went away, and so will Amazon Shorts, and for the same reason. Amazon isn't ready for every PublishAmerica/XLibris/iUniverse/Authors House kook in the world to send them a short story -- one likely "set in the same universe!!!" as their shitty-ass novel* -- or manifesto on how We The People can Reclaim the Constitution from the liberal/Freemasonic elite. The interview thing became unwieldy and the "author speaks" page was rife with impersonation and various low-stakes backbiting. The same vanity-published stooges who think that their book's availability on amazon means that they are engaging in a "joint venture" with the company will soon start howling about various betrayals and outrages the moment it becomes clear that amazon isn't running a truly-ooly open market where you just get to sell what you like.

And these people aren't like normal writers, for whom rejection is always a friend and acceptance a stranger. If they were, they wouldn't have been scammed in the first place. These people are nuts, and they have nothing better to do than to bombard tech support with ridiculous demands and breathless testimonials to their own talents all day, every day, forever. And amazon has a much larger profile than your average fiction market, so every psychotic with a keyboard in the wooooorld will be on their collective asses. Vassar and Smith just don't graduate enough people per year to fill the number of "editorial assistant" positions that amazon's tsunami-swamped inboxes will need to handle the flow of mental patient jibber-jabber. The drawbridge will go up far sooner than later.

And Amazon Shorts won't fly as a closed market either. The royalty on that 49¢ download is 40%, so call it 2000 downloads before one earns sufficient dosh for a pro-market payday. Outside of what they call in the supermarket "Popular Authors", most writers don't even have 2000 different individuals per half-year (amazon wants six months exclusive) looking at an individual amazon.com book page, much less buying anything. Plus, people just don't read short stories anymore. They certainly don't read them online, after paying upfront. And all that goes double for reprints. The only real advantage for a fiction writer, and this is a marginal one, is that the page from which one downloads a story or essay contains links to the author's books. Authors who whip up some essay on peak oil or losing weight or being as happy as Jesus wants you to be can probably make a few dimes, but that's gonna be it. In a year, Amazon Shorts will be the online equivalent of Wildside Press -- the place where backlist material goes to die.




*One of these days, I'm going to write a realist story and bill it as "Set in the same universe as the classic fiction of Raymond Carver, John Updike, Rick Moody! You know, THIS universe!"

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[info]st_rev
2005-08-22 05:57 am UTC (link)
If this were Free Idea Fridays, I'd pitch an alternate-history story where the Internet bubble never burst and Amazon's plan here becomes a massive full-employment program for every psychotic with a keyboard and every Ivy League English graduate in the world.

It would be a horror story, of course.

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But...
[info]zoomardav
2005-08-22 05:59 am UTC (link)
It's the perfect place for me to sell all the stories I've written using your "Free Idea Fridays" ideas.

The guy who can change himself into a lesbian candle shop is GOLD! 2000 downloads easy...

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[info]spimby
2005-08-22 06:23 am UTC (link)
"or manifesto on how We The People can Reclaim the Constitution from the liberal/Freemasonic elite"

I've heard that long crank rants, mostly by middle-aged men, that attempt to explain or solve everything in the universe, make up a huge piece of slush piles everywhere. Did I hear right?

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[info]nihilistic_kid
2005-08-22 02:45 pm UTC (link)
Yes.

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[info]st_rev
2005-08-22 06:57 pm UTC (link)
My mom wrote one of those. It was horrible. Not the document itself so much as the fact that she had written it and wanted me to read it. How do you respond to something like that?

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[info]spimby
2005-08-22 09:25 pm UTC (link)
Very cautiously, I would imagine.

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[info]st_rev
2005-08-23 07:20 pm UTC (link)
Well, she's dead now, so problem solved.

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[info]mmcirvin
2005-08-23 01:03 pm UTC (link)
Ever moderated a Usenet group? Oh my God.

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[info]jlassen
2005-08-22 08:41 am UTC (link)
Wy do you hate wildside so much? I mean, I THINK that was a nasty jab at wildside. But I'm not sure. Please eleaborate.

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[info]mkhobson
2005-08-22 02:41 pm UTC (link)
I wondered that too. Is this a new hate-on for our Mr. Mamatas??

M

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[info]marlowe1
2005-08-22 03:50 pm UTC (link)
I'm just wondering if there was an anti-Wildside post that I missed somewhere.

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[info]grimjiminember
2005-08-23 12:49 am UTC (link)
Maybe it's because their web site looks so 90s, werbring and all.
http://www.wildsidepress.com/

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[info]johnaburks
2005-08-22 11:51 am UTC (link)
"And these people aren't like normal writers, for whom rejection is always a friend and acceptance a stranger"

That is a great line.

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[info]sclerotic_rings
2005-08-22 03:24 pm UTC (link)
Sadly, I can't agree enough on the ultimate fate of Amazon Shorts. It's probably the dream of some Cat Piss Man who wants to play editor: naturally, everyone's hot on this being a new venue for publishing stories, and yet nobody wants to talk about trying to build up a customer base willing to pay for said stories in the first place. The whole idea is as dumb as trying to start an indie bookstore right next door to a Barnes & Noble, and just as much of a waste of perfectly good money and time. And so it goes.

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[info]sdowens
2005-08-22 03:26 pm UTC (link)
They don't need to sell 2,000 copies in order for Amazon to get a decent profit from their collective presence. And I'm willing to bet that a large part of their consideration is going to be based on the author's previous amazon sales ranks, rather than reading through every piece of slush there is and guaranteeing that the author in question probably has a decent number of fans.

I wouldn't be surprised if they made a decent profit off of this. It doesn't seem to take much in upfront costs and they are a high-profile website.

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[info]nihilistic_kid
2005-08-22 03:28 pm UTC (link)
You've failed Reading 101 again, Simon. It's not amazon's earnings, but the writer's earnings we're discussing. Quality writers will go where the money is. Why nickel-and-dime it with amazon when F&SF or Esquire will pay you up front?

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From Simon, for some reason can't log in
(Anonymous)
2005-08-23 02:38 am UTC (link)
Because we're assuming F&SF or Esquire has already rejected the story in question? Because some authors like to try a variety of markets even if there's a chance of low pay-off?

When fictionwise first came out I heard fifty utterances of the exact same thing you said:"if you were one of those whom amazon approached a few months ago, enjoy the first check when it's issued, cuz that's all you're gonna see." Fictionwise started buying reprints upfront for hundreds of dollars. I spoke to Mike Resnick at Toby Buckell's Writing Jam and he was one of the people who Fictionwise approached, and like everyone else, he cashed his check right away never thinking he'd hear from them again. From what I've heard, Fictionwise is doing incredibly well (they're royalty-only now) and though nobody can claim to be living off fictionwise royalty checks, I've heard some have been pretty decent. Of course Fictionwise was smart in only taking reprints, but Amazon is a little bit more high-profile and might attract more traffic.

Will you sell 2,000 copies? If you're Stephen King. But if you're someone who's willing to submit to low-paying markets like LCWR or Flytrap, then Amazon might not be too far off pay-wise, especially if you're already a semi-known name who doesn't have to prove himself.

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Re: From Simon, for some reason can't log in
[info]nihilistic_kid
2005-08-23 03:36 am UTC (link)
Because we're assuming F&SF or Esquire has already rejected the story in question?

We are? I generally assume that between anthologies and start-ups, there are new pro markets emerging all the time.

From what I've heard, Fictionwise is doing incredibly well (they're royalty-only now)

And all they had to do is stop paying upfront! Wooie! What a deal!

Of course Fictionwise was smart in only taking reprints, but Amazon is a little bit more high-profile and might attract more traffic.


Yes, more traffic from would-be writers. What you miss is that fictionwise is a company designed to sell reprinted electronic fiction. Amazon is a giant, profitless company trying to sell whatever might possible one day make it money...if they can ever manage to control costs. That Fictionwise survives by making a (major) change to its model is no surprise; that amazon won't simply stop doing those things which cause it to bleed cash in exchange for aggravation will also not be a surprise, as that's what it has done time and again.

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[info]ketzl
2005-08-22 03:53 pm UTC (link)
Oh oh! NK please, I need your advice. My neighbor dropped his 300+ page manuscript off at my house and asked for my (and my housemates') review and opinions. Here's the problem: it sucks. I mean, I haven't read it yet but he gave me a precis and it's basically a rehash of Spider Robinson's Callahans books mixed with Star Trek in-jokes and a few "original ideas" that were cliches back in the 80s. Worse, it's not a novel but a collection of short stories written Thieves World-style in a shared universe with him as the editor and creative director. I am filled with fear and loathing. I mean, is there any way that could be good? But I like my neighbor and moreover since he lives two doors down and has no intention of moving and we live in the South, don't wanna start a feud. So should I be totally honest with him or just give him the link to the Amazon short story marketplace and encourage him to serialize?

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[info]nihilistic_kid
2005-08-22 04:24 pm UTC (link)
In such cases, you should always think about both the greatest good and the greatest mercy. The real people at issue here isn't your pal or even yourself, but the reading public. Years ago, this linked story collection would have been sent out, gotten some form rejections, and your buddy would have either improved as he continued to write or decided to devote himself entirely to painting Warhammer figurines.

Today, however, with lulu.com a zillion unmoderated messagboards, he'll print up some copies and make a dreadful nuisance of himself at cons, online, and at local bookstores. He may even attract a handful of fourteen year-old followers and fellow developmentally delayed kooks. So the greatest good, and indeed, the greatest mercy, would be to put him down so hard and so horribly that he abandons the project.

Your neighbor is like a tiny unfeathered hatchling who has fallen from his nest. He is beyond the care of his parents and even the vetinary interventions of humanity. All he can do is squawk so loudly that everyone around him gets driven batty with annoyance, shame, and pity. You can't scoop up such a bird, put it in a cardboard box full of shredded paper, and feed him skim milk through an eyedropper, he is already doomed. All you can do is put him out of his very contagious misery by slamming your heel of mercy down hard on his head.

Make it quick.

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[info]ketzl
2005-08-22 04:37 pm UTC (link)
Thank you! They do say honesty is the best policy. Bird flu's been in the news lately, we've all got to do our part. I understand. I will take your advice to heart. Brutal, quick. Callahans=death.

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mercy
(Anonymous)
2005-08-22 04:46 pm UTC (link)
"All you can do is put him out of his very contagious misery by slamming your heel of mercy down hard on his head."


Exactly. It's what Ichi would do.

Laird

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[info]faithhopetricks
2005-08-22 09:42 pm UTC (link)
You can't scoop up such a bird, put it in a cardboard box full of shredded paper, and feed him skim milk through an eyedropper, he is already doomed. All you can do is put him out of his very contagious misery by slamming your heel of mercy down hard on his head.

Does anyone else now want a [info]nihilistic_kid advice column?

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[info]docbrite
2005-08-22 11:27 pm UTC (link)
All you can do is put him out of his very contagious misery by slamming your heel of mercy down hard on his head.

i think it might be more humane to give his neck a quick, shap twist. Plus you'd run less risk of getting bird/frustrated writer brains on your hand.

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[info]docbrite
2005-08-22 11:27 pm UTC (link)
*sharp

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[info]faithhopetricks
2005-08-23 03:31 am UTC (link)
Frustrated writer brains do leave a sticky Gorey-like stain ("Don't wash brains out, shout it out!").

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(Anonymous)
2005-08-23 02:24 pm UTC (link)
"your buddy would have either improved as he continued to write or decided to devote himself entirely to painting Warhammer figurines."

HA! Now that is some funny shit...

Keene

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[info]smeehrrr
2005-08-22 05:28 pm UTC (link)
Your only hope is to set fire to your house and walk the earth Kung Fu-style under an assumed identity.

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[info]rfrancis
2005-08-22 04:15 pm UTC (link)
And these people aren't like normal writers, for whom rejection is always a friend and acceptance a stranger. If they were, they wouldn't have been scammed in the first place.

This is the clearest, most concise distinction you've made. Thanks for it.

Plus, people just don't read short stories anymore.

I've gotten this feeling. Of course, in part I got it from me not reading short stories. So what's a writer to do?

-R

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[info]dobrovolets
2005-08-22 06:04 pm UTC (link)
One of these days, I'm going to write a realist story and bill it as "Set in the same universe as the classic fiction of Raymond Carver, John Updike, Rick Moody! You know, THIS universe!"

Regarding the universe of realist fiction as isomorphically mapping to this universe is, at least, questionable.

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Gasp! Kooks publishing their work -- say it ain't so!
(Anonymous)
2005-08-29 07:11 pm UTC (link)
You mean "every psychotic with a keyboard in the wooooorld" could get published? Shudder.

Sounds like the Internet.

Next thing you know, wackos with LiveJournals will be competing with real media.

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Re: Gasp! Kooks publishing their work -- say it ain't so!
[info]nihilistic_kid
2005-08-29 07:24 pm UTC (link)
So you'll be sending me 49¢ per post?

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v
(Anonymous)
2007-06-13 05:16 pm UTC (link)

.Good luck!





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j
(Anonymous)
2007-06-17 06:43 am UTC (link)

.G'night





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association in.
(Anonymous)
2007-08-19 12:46 am UTC (link)

One for all and all for one, can sound pretty corny.

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(Anonymous)
2008-02-03 01:12 pm UTC (link)
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